It’s not “Good” Grief Charlie Brown

Grief. An unwanted yet part of life’s emotions. I don’t want to feel it anymore. I have had my share–more than my share of loss. I can no longer count them on both hands. Life. Death.

The loss it seems, as the older I get the harder it becomes. Most assuredly because those who depart this world have been in our life for many years. It is reasonable to feel a greater void. I convince myself of this.

I pray and have been covered in prayer, for peace and comfort. For joy and happy memories of those who have been taken away so soon. But sorrow has it’s own timing. Grief comes and goes and comes back again with a vengeance. When it appears you are at peace BAM, waves–no tidal waves rush in and sweep the peace away.

So I sit quietly in the presence of the Lord, trying desperately to feel confident He will get me through this season of despair–again. Because I firmly have the Faith that if He brings me to it He will get me through it.

So then why? Why don’t I feel the peace? Or the comfort in that knowledge?

Self-pity? Self-indulgence? Could be. Or I am just human and this is normal behavior.

I tell myself to listen to the gentle whisper of Jesus reminding me of what little Faith I have. And how it hurts Him so. How He carries my burdens at the feet of His throne. To let go and let God wrap His loving arms around me, so tight I would have no choice but to feel the peace and comfort only He can provide in the darkest hour of grief.

It becomes a choice. My choice. So, yes I choose to let Him get me through it. Because He promises to. And Jesus doesn’t lie. He says He will never leave our side. I believe Him.

Yes, one year ago I lost my best friend. She got me and loved me for me. She never judged, or played games. She accepted me. And the feelings were mutual. She would tell me don’t sweat the small stuff. Get over it. She knew how sensitive I am. Acted accordingly…or not. We laughed at each other. A lot.

Yes there is a huge void in my life. She will never be replaced.

I must choose to believe my world without her will get better, because my world when she was in it taught me it will.

So, I will miss her greatly. I will remember her wisdom and her love and laughter. Her kindness. Her life. I will choose to believe she is my Angel watching over me. Until we meet again.

A few scriptures of His promises from the NIV Bible :

Psalm 119:76; Isaiah 61:2-3; Jeremiah 31:13; 2 Corinthians 1:5; 2 Corinthians 1:20; Hebrews 10:23

Be Blessed,

Chrissyd <><

My Journey with God…Laughter and His blessings…

As I was sitting under the awkwardly huge hair dryer at the salon this morning, I was in constant thought on how very fortunate I am. I mean, c’mon…it’s not cheap anymore to keep up with the “do” and the products to keep that “do” looking do-licious (just made that up!)  So, yes I’m feeling very fortunate to be able to sit under that dryer and be pampered for a bit (my hair stylist is the best and she gives wonderful scalp massages while my head is laying over the shampoo tub!) 

It’s a blessing to wake up in the morning…seriously, to wake up to a new day that the Lord decided to bless me with.  It’s up to Him you know – whether I wake up or not.  He has blessed me beyond belief with the simplest or the grandest gifts and delights in life.  Simplest being a beautiful butterfly landing on my shoulder after hearing the news of my daddy passing away, or the grandest – the birth of my two sons so many years ago and then my four grandchildren.  Simplest – watching hummingbirds fight over their food. Grandest – having the most wonderful, compassionate, loving husband.  We can laugh at and with each other.  Speaking of laughter…

He has also given me the gift of laughter or to giggle at the silliest things – especially with my sisters.  Sisters are that way.  So yes the gift of laughter.  

I met up with four girl friends that I went to elementary through high school – we met in Las Vegas about five or so years ago.  One of them graciously brought some old newsletters from junior high…you know the ones that state, “Who do you think is the most likely to succeed?” type newsletters?  She proceeded to read some of those answers.  I was flabbergasted when she came to what someone wrote about me…all those years ago – of all things – I was going to be remembered by the “most contagious laugh!!!”  Ok.  So it could be worse I suppose. 

But it’s true. I do laugh.  A lot.  I laugh when I’m nervous.  I laugh – sometimes,  the only one laughing in the movie theaters…? I laugh when I’m driving down the road – alone and something funny hits me that I’ve remembered.  I laugh at silly kid jokes – they are so innocent – so silly. It just doesn’t take much to get me laughing or giggling. 

Giggling.  It’s no wonder that God put into motion G.i.g.G.l.e.  When I first thought up that acronym, I’d wake up in the middle of the night saying that word.  For months.  Yes…first it was a gentle whisper and then it got louder and louder until I succumbed.  G.i.g.G.l.e.  God is great God loves everyone!  With all our flaws…our sins…but,  if you ask Him to forgive you He will forgive and wipe the slate clean.  So even you can laugh and giggle again.

Life is a journey.  It can be simple if you allow Him to lead the way down your path that He has chosen for you.  It is an unknown path that only He knows the way.  But He is the way!  Choose God!  Let Him turn that upside down smile into laughter again.

Be blessed!

My country tis of thee…

Growing up in the 50’s / 60’s where I had to be home when the streetlights came on,  doors were unlocked, neighbors knew each other and “pop” was soda not the sound of gunshots.  The worst that happened at school was someone brought in a knife – but to only play “Chicken” nothing further. 

The Pledge of Allegiance was said daily and respected – no one thought it was wrong, unconstitutional, politically incorrect or offensive. Like the email that was circulating that God has been taken out of schools and replaced with guns.  Like that makes sense!   I’m so thankful I do not have children in schools these days, but fear for my grandchildren & their children. (More and more homeschooling)   If someone had a different belief, that was ok, but they didn’t force others to not show their own beliefs because it offended them. 

Today?  Well, it is just unbelievable.  It is sad, disheartening and frankly down-right rude.  I love my country. I love that our founding fathers led this country by the grace of God. Knowing full well they could not do it alone.  “In God We Trust.”  Our rights as Americans are being tossed to the wayside for others who don’t even know who our first president was.  Why?  Because of the many fights about “rights.”  It’s become an “I” society…not ‘We the people” by which this country was founded.

Which brings me to this…On January 6th, 2011 for the first time in history, Congress read aloud the nearly 7,500 words of the US Constitution.  Almost 2 hours!  Members from both parties taking turns to read from it.  Does this give me hope that we will turn back to what made our country?  I’m not sure.  I’d like to say yes.  I can only say it is in God’s hands.  Ironically, the person who read the First Amendment was AZ Congresswoman Gabrielle Giffords, who was shot in the head a couple days later.   (First Amendment: “Congress shall make no law respecting an establishment of religion, or prohibiting the free exercise thereof; or abridging the freedom of speech, or of the press, or the right of the people peaceably to assemble, and to petition the Government for a redress of grievances.”)  She and the others who were injured and those who lost their lives, their families are in the prayers of many in our country and worldwide. 

Prayer – is a powerful thing. Prayer is not about “religion” but reaching out to God for help, for thankfulness or just a good ol’ personal, intimate chat with Him who has your best interest at heart.  Let me ask you, ‘Got prayer?”

If I can reach just one person who understands or will stand beside me in prayer, or will drop to their knees at the only throne worth bowing to, then I will have been blessed beyond measure.  It’s really quite simple to live life the way God intended us.  To live it abundantly, thinking of others before ourselves, loving others –you can hate the sin but pray for the sinner.  But pray continually.  It can really make a difference in your day.

With a thankful heart.
Chrissy

Can it be? My passion?

What is it? This passion to write? Can it be to put down into words thoughts, in total simplicity exactly how one feels? How one is so very thankful? How once words are down on paper – oh what a relief it is?  Out of the mind and onto a blank sheet of paper for all to see?  But most importantly this venue to have freedom to write and write to my heart’s desire.  It just doesn’t get any better than this.  This is my first time blogging.  I think it may become a very neat habit!

I wonder why God gave me the passion to write.  Thoughts jumbled in my mind come out of nowhere but somewhere.  He allowed me to have so much creativity.  I’m so thankful to Him for that.  Thankful in general.  He is an awesome God.  Awesome in power and mercy and faithfulness.  Miracles happen every day.  This is the day the Lord has made and I rejoice and be glad in it. (Psalm 118:24) All you need to do is look around! It’s simple really.

So, the one gift that He has given me is the gift of laughter.  Thankful for the sense of humor He has too.  Sometimes I wonder why He puts certain thoughts into my mind to swirl and swirl until I can plop it down on paper.  Acronyms.  And the one very special one He placed in my mind is G.i.g.G.l.e. – very appropriate for those who know me.  It stands for God is great God loves everyone.   So very true.  He is amazing!  So…Got God?  I do!  No matter what He’s there for you too.  You may be angry.  Or you may be grieving.  You may even be so happy and things are going just peachy for you.  Doesn’t matter what  your situation is.  You still need God.   And during this very special time of the year – the most wonderful time of the year – Christmastime – what better time to reflect?  A joyous reason for the season.  Don’t you think?